Ramblings about my life...

So here I am on blog spot..Yep you found me! Not real sure why I decided to do this but I guess I figure it might be fun. I tend to think a lot so why not put it out there for the world to see. I also wanted my story to be known to the world.... I was brought up in a crazy home. Most kids were out playing with friends, because it was fun. Not me I was out so that I could hide and have some peace from the chaos. My mother will never admit it but she was very abusive. The worse time was when she was choking the life out of my little sister, scariest day of my life!! Then as a teenager I was not allowed to freely enjoy the normal privileges of life because I was busy doing her job and protecting my sister and the children that she babysat. That also meant no dating if I wanted to live. She about killed me one time for seeing a guy who she didn't know. She even went as far as turning us on our dad. It was completely crazy! The worst part of it was I had no idea until later that this was not normal behaviour; I thought that that was just how life was. Some where during the chaos I began to see a guy who was one of the youth leaders at my church. I thought he was really someone special and that he might possibly be the man I was praying for. I found out shortly after I was wrong..One night as we were waiting for my mom and sis he raped me. It was so horrible. Not only was my mom failing me but now I felt like my church was failing me. It took a long time for me to realized that I had more value then just being a piece of meat. Now lets fast forward some years latter..I married very early someone who was not the best for me or vise versa. So I am 21 on the verge of divorce with a beautiful baby girl. Thank God for my aunt and uncle who took me in because I lost everything. The one wonderful blessing, besides my daughter, that I received from that is my loving hubby James. Now lets fast forward a few years later..We have 3 beautiful children, but we are on the verge of fall out. Our saving grace came in the form of tragedy. Dec 9 2007 is a day we will never forget! I was shot 7 times that night. Not only was it an eye opener it was a healer. It helped mend wounds that would've never been mended....I know that I've been rambling on and on, but I just want everyone to know how happy I am to be here and how I am nothing short of a miracle and survivor. I also want everyone to know that no matter what I know that beyond a shadow of doubt I serve a true and awesome God and he is very real!!